*Dry clean only

Ever notice how many limitations are put on the way you care for your clothes - But who really takes the time to read the label anyway. The same thing applies to the gay world – Let’s say you’re reading the paper while having a coffee at the local Vida Café, you spot a really good looking guy sitting a few tables away. What do you do? A.) You can’t contain yourself and pounce all over him. B.) You play it cool, smile and wait for him to make the first move. C.) You forget there’s an option B and pounce anyway. The correct answer would be – Read the label!

Now while option B may seem like the best thing to do in this situation – it very rarely shows results since the other guy will probably also pick option B resulting in two very good looking men staring at each other for the best part of the morning. The first thing to do would be to figure out exactly what his label says, it will entail how he would like to be handled – so keep your hormones in check and read it!

It might say - I’ve just gotten out of a five year relationship and I’m just looking for some fun, it might say - he’s really cute and I wouldn’t mind getting to know him, hell it might even say – I can’t stand homosexuals but my therapist says I should just control my anger and smile. So it should be very clear that misreading a label can land you in a very difficult situation. But this dilemma works both ways – You need to make damn sure what it is your own label actually reads, since the hardest thing is not to figure out what the other person wants, but to decide what it is that you want. Have you healed after your previous break-up, are you mature enough to handle casual sex without getting attached – These things should be considered carefully.

The most common problem in gay society is that people are very unclear on what they want – the phrase “let’s take it slow and see what happens” is one to be very weary of as it usually means that the other person is not ready to enter into a relationship with you. I’m not saying that nothing can come from taking things at a slow pace, but the first few weeks of a relationship are crucial as this is the time wherein you get to know each other and whether or not you would be compatible to pursue a long term relationship – meeting for a drink once every two weeks certainly won’t do. You’re time is just as valuable as someone else’s, so decide if he is worth taking a chance on and waiting for – otherwise move on.

As useful as reading a label can be, it only provides short term clarity. As per my previous post, a label wouldn’t be able to tell you if someone is successful by the clothes they wear (I wouldn’t advise following him to his car to see what he drives as stalking is a major turn off), labels also don’t say much about someone’s personality, as wanting to have a relationship is not a personality trait. With all these things to consider – where do you start.

In my experience it’s better to discard the label all together, take a chance and leap – Choose option A and walk over to the handsome man in the corner, introduce yourself irrelevant of what you think you may know about him. Who cares if he shoots you down, tomorrow there will be another good looking guy sitting right there in the same spot.